Give Yourself Permission to Fail and Project Noticeable Confidence
Turn fear of failure into a strategy that builds your influence behind the scenes
The real reason you’re stuck at the same level?
You’re too afraid to fail.
Most office employees are allergic to mistakes: They play it safe. Stick to what’s asked. Keep their heads down.
That was the go-to approach back in the 90s, but here’s the uncomfortable truth today:
If you rarely make mistakes, chances are, you are NOT trying hard enough.
You’ve reached that phase in your career where you are so comfortable that you become complacent. You no longer see the value of going beyond you’re job description. You’ve already proven to everybody that you are capable of doing everything the job requires you to do. You no longer wanna try something new. Why?
Doing something new comes with a set of unknowns that could damage your I’m-good-at-what-I-do image that you carefully built for years.
It’s better to be safe than sorry…right?
But that fear is quietly stopping you from standing out.
After a few years in the industry, I, like most employees, fall into the same trap: They only take on tasks they’re sure they can complete with ease. They think the best way to get ahead is to simply meet the deadlines and avoid messing up. Period.
But when you only do what’s safe, you become invisible.
Remember those moments when you had an idea that could fix a problem or optimize an existing process?
Instead of speaking up, you kept quiet because you are not 100% sure it’s going to work. And when things don’t work, you cannot bear the embarrassment that comes with it. The more this happens, the more you rob yourself of getting the recognition you deserve.
This is how you turn into “the reliable one” who keeps the lights on—NOT the person your boss sees as a high-performer.
The fastest way to grow is to give yourself permission to fail.
We all know that failure leads to lessons…but it’s uncomfortable. Your brain is super smart at convincing you to do things that keep you away from anything uncomfortable. It’s not your fault—but it’s just how we are wired. This mechanism is there to keep us safe. And whenever you challenge this default setting, your brain makes you feel stupid.
So, what do you do?
Override that fear by giving yourself permission to fail.
That “permission” is what creates this illusion that you are in a safe place. Now, I’m not suggesting you make yourself delusional (because that’s just dumb). What I’m suggesting is that you challenge your assumptions: Is it really that bad? Or perhaps I’m overthinking it?
You need to develop the courage to take risks. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck in the same role (and continue to get the minimum salary raise) for years. You need to face the challenges (of doing something you are unsure of) to grow in your career.
Here are 3 steps that can help you do that without taking too much risk:
Step 1 - Reframe risk
Don’t ask, “What if I fail?”
Instead, ask “What will I learn?”
Mistakes are data. Remember that famous Thomas Edison story where he was like, “I have not failed 10,000 times – I've successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work”? That’s his own way of reframing his failures—so he can keep honing and deepening his understanding of whatever he is working on.
Realize the fact that every mistake makes your next idea sharper.
Therefore, when an opportunity shows itself at work, say “Yes!” before you’re ready.
Say yes, then, figure it out as you go. You learn faster by trying and failing than by planning and theorizing in your head on how to do things perfectly.
The projects that teach you the most (and get noticed by your boss) usually start with fear and doubt.
Step 2 - Take small risks as often as possible.
Most people interpret “taking risks” as “doing things you might regret in the future”. Notice how that interpretation only aims toward the negative outcome of trying. Now, remember that time when you thought you couldn’t do something, but you tried it anyway and it worked out? Remember the feeling you felt that time. I’m sure you were proud of yourself and glad that you did, despite all the possible negative outcomes that you thought of.
That’s exactly my point.
The only difference is that you don’t need to wait for life-changing moments. Just do something little. Challenge your current assumptions by doing something a little different. It can come in the form of: pitching an idea, trying a faster method or volunteering to lead a project that no one cares much about.
These low-stakes risks are what you need to build your confidence—and your reputation.
And more importantly—it speeds up your learning.
Step 3 - Don’t hide the stumble. Show the recovery.
Things will fail—eventually. And when it does, you’re going to gain two things: an opportunity to show courage and confidence and an opportunity to refine your approach. A win-win!
Here’s what I mean..
When you take full accountability for the failure, you’re showing everyone how you handle things like an adult. This gains more respect than when you point fingers and avoid blame. You gain “leader points” for doing this.
And when things fail, you now have the opportunity to refine your approach by reflecting and figuring out: what worked, what didn’t and what you should’ve done to avoid it from happening again in the future. Now that your approach is refined, the chances of making the same mistake go from slim to none.
When a coworker asked, “Wow, you’re smart. How did you become so knowledgeable about this?”, I responded with, “I’m not smart at all. In fact, I’m a D-student *LOL*. It’s just that I screwed up much much more than you can imagine LOL.”
The only caveat is that, when you screw something up, make sure it happened as a result of trying your best—not purposely failing for the sake of failing.
Playing it safe won’t get you noticed. Showing guts will.
While everybody is busy avoiding failure, go in the opposite direction by trying new things that will improve what already exists. There’s no guarantee it will work. But that doesn’t matter because you’re going to level up—not only in skills and understanding, but you’ll also unlock a new level of confidence—the kind that makes you look like a leader.
When you mess up, you’re the first to say it, own it and solve it. The best employees don’t just avoid problems—they handle them well.
That’s what leaders do. That’s what gets remembered.
P.S. If you’re looking for more tactics and strategies to make yourself more confident without taking too many risks, consider signing up as a FREE subscriber to my newsletter. I write about how you can lead behind the scenes—and finally get that recognition you deserve WITHOUT sucking up to anybody.